Afraid of the Light

I had heard of this Jesus fellow, but his whole story sounded far fetched to me. I have always been decisive, and quick to show my opinion. My father encouraged my coming to many trials over the years. He believes that woman should do more things--I agree with him on that. Ever since I was a little child I have enjoyed watching trials. I had never taken part in such a huge crowd as this, however.

Jesus said he came to testify to the truth. I began to jeer as soon as the words “truth” came out of his mouth. I wanted to yell those words away, make sure that they would never bother me again. I have often wondered when the Messiah will come, and I know that when He comes he will reveal all, he will reveal the truth. I was to afraid to find out the truth, so I yelled and yelled at the afflicted man. I didn’t want to stop yelling.

The first time Jesus fell, a woman next to me cried out. Someone whispered to me that she was the mother of Jesus. I glanced at the woman. The pain in her face made me yell all the louder. I yelled “What do you think now, king?!” I will never forget the look on that woman’s face.

My yells increased as a young woman rumored to be called Veronica wiped the face of Jesus. I saw her veil. The face of that man, that Jesus, was there on the cloth. It was an image too pain full to look at. Anger bubbled up inside of me. I will not change! a voice inside of me yelled.

I had chosen that Jesus should die. I had helped make the decision. If I was wrong, and that man was the Messiah, it was partly my fault. That is why I yelled and screamed. That is why I taunted and sneered at this man. I felt as if my shouting would make it true that he wasn’t the king. He couldn’t be the Messiah, could He?

For God did not send His son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. Whoever believes in Him will not be condemned, but whoever does not believe has already been condemned, because he has not believed in the name of the only son of God. And this is the verdict, that the light came into the world, but people preferred darkness to light, because their works were evil. For every one who does wicked things hates the light and does not come toward the light, so that his works might not be exposed. But whoever lives in the truth comes to the light, so that his works may be clearly seen as done by God.

John 3:17-21